Of Mass and Valentines

Monday, February 17, 2014

Msgr. James F. Fetscher - The Archdiocese of Miami

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I got a big chuckle recently out of a great story I heard at the Women’s Club Fashion Show Luncheon. It seems one lady gave her late husband the same Valentine’s Day card four years in a row and he never noticed until she finally told him.

I’ve since come to discover that this lady was not alone. Guys, it seems a number of you are not noticing very well. On the other hand, maybe it’s not so much about getting as it is giving.

I remember dad giving mom cards, but Valentine’s Day cards stick out in my mind. We didn’t have a lot of money but dad always made an effort to get a special card. That always got a great response from mom and we all knew it. (Come to think of it, that might help explain why there were seven of us.)

The fashion show luncheon brought out a lot of finery. The attendees were decked out to the nines. Nobody knows where the phrase “to the nines” came from exactly, but it generally means “looking good.” And indeed, look good, they did. I caught myself wondering how we could have a “dress-up Sunday.” But of course, Mass isn’t a fashion show and I’m just glad people get there. Still, there’s something about men’s knees that just doesn’t work, to say nothing of cleavage through which you could build an interstate highway.

Valentine’s Day was a time when we hoped others would see us in a special way and we wanted them to know that we thought they were special as well. At least that’s the way we saw it as kids. There was also the inevitable popularity contest. “How many Valentines did you get?” The more you got the happier you made Hallmark.

I hope you won’t think that the following is too much of a stretch, but I think every Mass we celebrate is a Valentine card. The Heart at the center of it all is Sacred. Jesus gives us Himself. As Valentine gifts go, it doesn’t get any better than that.

Does how we dress say anything about what we bring to give as a gift in return? Probably not much, unless you think about it. Didn’t we dress up for going out on a date? At the least we were very conscious of how we looked so our date would notice in a special way.

Maybe we don’t get too dressed up at Mass because we don’t think we have much to bring to the Lord? I make that a question in the hope that you might ask yourself, not how you are dressing at Mass, but what you are bringing to the table. That inner value, that inner clothing if you will, does make a difference.

It’s at our Table that we receive the Sacred. It is at our Table that we are made Sacred. That transformation is the most incredible shopping spree you can go on. The most extraordinary part of it all is that unlike the externals of a beautiful fashion show, the clothing Jesus offers us is all for free.

Maybe that’s the problem. We come to take for granted that which is free. Again, the good news is that Jesus knows us better than we could possibly imagine and He will wait us out. He will wait until we are ready to go to the fitting room and get a new measurement.

This blog is adapted from Msgr. Fetscher’s weekly message to his parishioners, called Twilight Twitches.

Comments from readers

Angelica Baldwin - 02/20/2014 09:22 AM

Thank you Fr. Jim.

Very well said. The Germans (I am not German, but grew up in Berlin )have a saying which basically translates to: "With your dress, you honor your host."
Simple! Right?

Sister Lidia Lidia Valli - 02/17/2014 09:05 PM

Thank you Fr. Jim, between hard laughing for your colorful descriptions, the message is clear and offered with "gusto." May our Lord bless you!

Pat Solenski - 02/17/2014 05:05 PM

Recycling cards is living in the 'green spirit' for sure. However, I think the way we dress for a date, special event, or banquet is not often the way we come to church. As Msgr writes when it dawns on us the magnificent feast that Eucharist is, perhaps then we will differently. Dress never makes the person. Awareness is the first step to action.

Elaine M. Syfert - 02/17/2014 12:04 PM

Thank you Father Jim for keeping us in the right track. There is no reason why couples shouldn't continue bringing cards to their spouses even if they are from the previous years, whatever they do to keep the romance in their marriage is good. Lloyd was 90 yrs. old this year and 53 yrs. of marriage and my heart still sings like tower bells when he surprises me with a card and tea roses. We still remember all we learned in Marriage Encounter.

Angelica Baldwin - 02/20/2014 09:22 AM: Thank you Fr. Jim.

Very well said. The Germans (I am not German, but grew up in Berlin )have a saying which basically translates to: "With your dress, you honor your host."
Simple! Right?

Sister Lidia Lidia Valli - 02/17/2014 09:05 PM: Thank you Fr. Jim, between hard laughing for your colorful descriptions, the message is clear and offered with "gusto." May our Lord bless you!

Pat Solenski - 02/17/2014 05:05 PM: Recycling cards is living in the 'green spirit' for sure. However, I think the way we dress for a date, special event, or banquet is not often the way we come to church. As Msgr writes when it dawns on us the magnificent feast that Eucharist is, perhaps then we will differently. Dress never makes the person. Awareness is the first step to action.

Elaine M. Syfert - 02/17/2014 12:04 PM: Thank you Father Jim for keeping us in the right track. There is no reason why couples shouldn't continue bringing cards to their spouses even if they are from the previous years, whatever they do to keep the romance in their marriage is good. Lloyd was 90 yrs. old this year and 53 yrs. of marriage and my heart still sings like tower bells when he surprises me with a card and tea roses. We still remember all we learned in Marriage Encounter.