'A blessing, not a burden'

By Marlene Quaroni - Florida Catholic

MIAMI SHORES | The life of Edwarda O�Bara served a purpose � to show the world what unconditional love is all about.

�We all know the story of Edwarda who was served by her mother, Kaye O�Bara, as she lay in a coma for four decades,� said Father Cletus Omode, parochial vicar at St. Rose of Lima Church in his homily at the funeral Mass for Edwarda, 59, who died Nov. 21.

Edwarda fell into a diabetic coma in 1970 when she was a student at Notre Dame Academy, now Archbishop Curley-Notre Dame High School. Edwarda asked her mother to never leave her. Kaye O�Bara promised and never left her side. Despite the cost � the state would have paid for Edwarda�s care in a nursing facility � Kaye cared for her daughter at home convinced that was also where she would receive better care.

She turned her daughter every two hours to prevent bedsores, gave her insulin and fed her through a tube. Edwarda was read to, had music played for her and constantly had company. When Kaye died in 2008 at age 80, Edwarda�s sister, Colleen, took over.

�We considered her a blessing, not a burden,� said Colleen, 58.

Throughout the years, the O�Baras were both praised and criticized for their care of Edwarda.

�Kaye told me that people would sometimes drive by and throw objects at their house,� said Joan Crown, director of the archdiocesan Respect Life Office. �They criticized Kaye for keeping Edwarda alive. I feel that this family was a testament to what it means to be Catholic. Their courage inspired us. Kaye often said that she felt the presence of the Virgin Mary in Edwarda�s room and Kaye thought Edwarda might be a victim soul � someone suffering for the sins of the world.�

Inspired by the family�s story, motivational author Wayne Dyer wrote a book, �A Promise Is a Promise: An Almost Unbelievable Story of a Mother�s Unconditional Love and What It Can Teach Us.� Visitors from around the world came to the family�s home in Miami Gardens, including former U.S. President Bill Clinton. Edwarda�s birthday was an annual event with a cake, decorations and balloons and plenty of visitors.

Father Michael Hoyer, pastor of St. Gregory the Great in Plantation, who concelebrated the Mass with Father Omode, said that the O�Bara family is a tremendous example of love, people who put God�s love into action every day.

Father Hoyer is a friend of the family because Edwarda�s great-nephew, Joseph Michael O�Bara, 12, attended Our Lady Queen of Martyrs School in Fort Lauderdale where Father Hoyer was previously pastor. Joseph and his father, Richard O�Bara, lived with Colleen, Kaye and Edwarda.

Colleen said she cared for her sister Nov. 21 as she did every morning, then told her she was going to get a cup of coffee. �Edwarda responded with the biggest smile,� said Colleen. �She had a twinkle in her eye.�

When Colleen returned Edwarda�s eyes were closed. Colleen shook her but Edwarda did not respond.

A memorial service was held Nov. 27 at Southern Memorial Park in North Miami, where Edwarda was buried.

About 50 people attended the funeral Mass at Rose, which ended with the singing of �If You Can See Me Now� � �I�m walking streets of gold, I�m standing tall. You�d know the pain�s erased. You wouldn�t want me to leave this perfect place, if you could see me now.�

Colleen, formerly a horse trainer, said she plans to start looking for work. The family is deeply in debt.

In lieu of flowers, the family is seeking donations to help pay for the funeral. Donations can be sent to the Edwarda O�Bara Fund, P.O. Box 693482, Miami, FL 33269.