The role of parents as catechists
Monday, September 6, 2010
*Maria Jose Mitsoulis
The assumption that parents are their children’s primary catechists is something that I keep hearing in conversations with Catholic publishers, at national conferences and at catechist gatherings. This is why I wanted to address this topic in this blog. Do parents really understand the implications of this part of their vocation? Are they succeeding?
Being a parent can be a daunting task, even in the best of situations. In today’s society, a parent has to deal with many challenges such as: consumerism, technology, the media, and many other issues. As parents we are responsible for the moral and faith formation of our children. Some parents are unaware of their duties as teachers and models of faith within their homes. Some parents seem to think that their role in the faith formation of their children is to take their children to church for the sacraments of initiation -- Baptism, Communion and Confirmation — and relinquish their responsibility to the priest, the religious sister, and the catechists who instruct their children on basic doctrine. Such parents have a sense that this all ends with Confirmation.
Speaking from my past experience as director of the religious education program in a parish, I have known many parents who do not settle for this minimalist approach. These are parents who come to the religious education office to register their children for sacramental preparation or for ongoing faith formation and who are conscious of their ongoing responsibility as primary educators in the faith for their children. These parents have taught their children at home to pray and actively participate in Mass. They trust their parish community to assist in the nourishment and development of their faith in the celebration of the Eucharist. They also avail themselves of other family activities and outreach service programs.
But the positive example of our parishes is often countered by complex challenges that confront families daily. Financial hardships can lead to tremendous stress and a resulting breakdown of family relationships. Children may be left to fend for themselves while parents struggle to balance increasing demands upon their time and energy.
What can we do? How can we catechize parents? How can they catechize their children?
Part Three of “The Catechism of the Catholic Church” (Life in Christ), Nos. 2223 and 2226, can enlighten us regarding our responsibilities as parents. I invite you to read these two sections, reflect upon them and ask God to help parents to be active catechists in their homes, the “domestic church”.
“Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery-the preconditions of all true freedom. Parents should teach their children to subordinate the ‘material and instinctual dimensions to interior and spiritual ones.’ Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children. By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them.” (CCC 2223)
“Education in the faith by the parents should begin in the child’s earliest years. This already happens when family members help one another to grow in faith by the witness of a Christian life in keeping with the Gospel. Family catechesis precedes, accompanies, and enriches other forms of instruction in the faith. Parents have the mission of teaching their children to pray and to discover their vocation as children of God. The parish is the Eucharistic community and the heart of the liturgical life of Christian families; it is a privileged place for the catechesis of children and parents.” (CCC 2226)
When I was a director of religious education at a parish, I would have parents’ meetings once a month. I would invite a speaker to address a relevant topic. Participants learned about the sacraments, prayer, relationships between parents and children, etc. It was a “best practice” activity with parents. I am sure that there are many more “best practices” that parish catechetical leaders are doing. I hope you may share them in this blog so we can all learn from each other and grow a more lively faith within our families.
Comments from readers
Let's keep praying for parents. May the power of the Holy Spirit help us be good parents.
Thank you for your reflection. It sent me to the catechism to revisit those articles as we begin a new year in religious education. We must remember the words that the Archbishop shared with us at the meeting. The spirit of welcoming the parents and recognizing that our mission is to respond to their needs in the sharing of the faith with their children. How easy it is to get caught up in the 'nuts and bolts' of a religious education program. Everyone agrees we need those " nuts and bolts " to open our doors. But most of all it is words of kindness and caring that bring us back to what we need to open - our hearts. What is most important? That we open our hearts first then the doors will swing open easily.