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How Theology of the Body can help us say 'no' to unhealthy relationships


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When I was little, sitting through dinner seemed like a marathon. It felt like so much work having to eat my vegetables and meat. It was boring. I just wanted to skip through to the fun part of the meal: dessert.

One day, I told my parents that I would be perfectly happy if I could eat nothing but ice cream. My parents tried to explain that it wouldn't be good for me, but I only felt that they were restricting my freedom to enjoy life. Ice cream was great and I was sure I didn't need anything else.

The next day, I woke up to a bowl full of ice cream for breakfast. I was thrilled. I finally got to indulge in my favorite “food.” 

At midday, again, ice cream was served.

I began my lunch enthusiastically but by mid-bowl, it wasn't all that great anymore. I sat through it, anyway, because it was what I wanted, or thought I did.

When dinner time rolled around, I was sated and the bowl of ice cream that awaited me lost its appeal. At this point I wanted real food — the real deal.

I realized that ice cream was more like the “prize” that came at the end of a meal—it was worth working my way up to, and at the end it was sweeter for the effort I put into sitting through dinner.

FIND OUT MORE
St. Augustine Church and Catholic Campus Ministry is hosting a five-part series on Theology of the Body entitled “Freedom to Love.” The series began March 6 and will continue Wednesday nights at 7:30 p.m. For information, visit www.ucatholic.org.
This is a bit of a simplistic analogy for relationship dynamics today. Society just wants us to skip to “dessert” instead of committing to what is real and worthwhile. We are bombarded with a consumer attitude toward other human beings: “I'll take that. I want a piece of that. Have at it.” 

We are being pushed into being insatiable, gluttonous jerks. People aren't taking the time to value others. Thanks to this counterfeit called “friends with benefits,” people don’t see the point of committing to a healthy relationship or even marriage when they could just "hook up."

Whatever happened to love?

John Paul II's Theology of the Body teaches us that indulging our compulsions negates love. True freedom is the freedom from compulsion.

In the Theology of the Body series "Freedom to Love," Christopher West notes the world's definition of freedom as being "Do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want, with whomever you want." But West, echoing the teachings of John Paul II, asks, "How is not being able to say 'no' true freedom?"

Isn't that mind-set like being bonded to an addiction? As humans, we are not enslaved to instinct as animals are. We have free will. And by denying license (that self-entitled, self-indulgent, selfish attitude), our free will can empower us to stop treating each other like disposable goods.

Theology of the Body has come at a time when our society needs it the most, when we really need to reclaim the dignity of the human person and place the proper value on sex, relationships, and identity.

Theology of the Body has taught me, first of all, who God created me to be as a person, particularly as a woman, and what He created me for. Understanding this, I can recognize the dignity of those around me and acknowledge God’s purpose for all these things — sex, relationships, and identity.

Thanks to Theology of the Body, I now know what life and love are intended to be.

Comments from readers

Joe - 03/11/2013 03:47 PM
Good article- and very true!

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