By Jim Davis - Florida Catholic

FORT LAUDERDALE | Courtney Ayala was once one of those "mean girls." She and her friends picked apart other girls for their hair, their faces, what they said. Other girls avoided them, afraid to come under their withering scrutiny.

Then she started at St. Thomas Aquinas High School, minus her friends — and found herself as isolated and insecure as she had made others feel.

"It felt like karma coming back at me," Courtney said. "I thought back and asked, 'Wow, was I really like that?' So much regret."

She can't change the past, but she can change the present through Aquinas Kindness, the club where she's president. The 50 members stand up to bullying by fostering a culture of acceptance — not only at their school but at others.

They hold assemblies at surrounding schools, bringing their PowerPoint program on kindness, what hurts it and what helps it. They’ve visited 10 elementary and middle schools thus far, with repeat visits to four.

The members, in turn, are mentored by the club's founder, theology instructor Kathie Hagood. She voices admiration for them.

"They're doing God's work," said Hagood, also a 1991 alumna of St. Thomas Aquinas. "Jesus went around building little communities. These girls are doing that."

She started the club after seeing a film, "Finding Kind," three years ago. The 70-minute film deals with the complexity of female relationships — how they can be destructive or supportive.

"The point is that it's all a choice," Hagood explained. "To support one another is a choice."

The club’s presentation at other schools includes a PowerPoint which they created themselves. The 10-slide show is done up in pink, the color worn by the high school clique in the 2004 movie "Mean Girls."

But the message is just the opposite of mean. It covers topics like the definition of bullying ("unwanted, aggressive physical or verbal behavior"), why and how girls bully, how to neutralize it, and how to start a Kind Club in a school.

"It can be powerful, it can open their eyes," said Courtney. "They see that it's not just in their school. It's all over."

The Aquinas Kindness members get listeners to open up via funny little icebreaker questions, like "Who likes broccoli? Who likes carrots?" Then they have everyone break up into small groups.

If the students are still shy, the club members are ready with their own experiences. They reassure younger girls that they went through similar struggles.

"We can tell them, 'you're not the only one,'" said sophomore Sophie O'Sullivan.

A favorite saying of senior Taylor Tully: "If it's not OK, it's not the end. And in the end, it'll be OK."

Samantha Sanfillippo's lesson: Know who your real friends are. Classmates used to ridicule her lack of spelling skills. "Stupid Sammy," they called her.

"People picked on me for not being able to spell?" she says nowadays. "They weren’t really friends!"

But the younger girls often do open up. They tell of slights on Twitter and other social media. Sometimes friends say they have to stay home and can't hang with them — then post Instagram pictures of a party they attended. Occasionally, girls say they even feel suicidal.

And like Courtney Ayala, some confess having once been mean themselves. One said she went through a violent, chaotic home life as her parents divorced — and took out her rage by bullying a classmate.

"She said, 'I made her middle school a living hell, and I have to deal with that,'" Hagood said. "Often when you're being bullied, it has nothing to do with you. It's the way the other person is dealing with themselves."

But the club members don’t just talk problems; they offer solutions. Simple compliments like "I like your style," or "You made my day brighter."

"I think a lot of girls don’t realize the impact they can have, just by saying hi or sitting with someone at lunch," Sophie O'Sullivan said.

Sophomore Emily Petruska agreed. "When you make someone feel better, it makes you feel better. Plus, you can make friends that way. It's nice to know you're being loved."

Just banding together in a group like Aquinas Kindness can build strength, the members said.

"Girls realize this is a safe place," Sophie said. "We're not counselors or parents or teachers. We're big sisters. Someone who is safe to talk to."

See related stories:

• Battle lines against bullying

• The art of fighting bullying

• Best way to stop bullying: Prevent it