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Blog_It is what it is


I have for some years noted in TV shows and in daily life how often people use the contemporary expression: “It is what it is.” That has led me to wonder what that means to those who use it. I have a thesis: This expression is the way that those who no longer feel comfortable with God language in fact practice accepting God’s will in their lives. Underlying this resignation, I think, is a confidence that even things that seem terrible to us will be ok.

Father Richard Rohr, in one of his daily reflections, says that learning to accept whatever happens in our lives as a message from God, who always speaks to us through reality, is an important spirituality. (This is also the spirituality of the movement, Communion and Liberation, which I have been following for some years.)

This kind of spirituality is one that works for people of all ages, but it is more necessary for those of us who are older because almost daily we find that we lose some ability or some talent. It does no good to complain about it or rail against it. All we can do is smile to ourselves, accept it as God’s message to us, and say: “It is what it is.”

According to Father Rohr, approaching life in this way is what it means to be holy. If he is correct, I know a lot of holy people — friends and relatives whom I have watched over the past year accept difficult situations with grace. They may not say: “Be it done to me according to Thy will;” but by their actions, that is what they are doing.

Case in point from my own life: During a meeting with the new director of the department in which I teach — a Kenyan sister just finishing a doctorate in physics — she asked if I would assume the position of academic coordinator in the department. I declined, because it would mean giving up the daily tutoring, which gives me so much life. Also, I said, I have lost confidence in my mental abilities. I’m just not very sharp anymore. She assured me that older people retain their mental abilities by using them.

At that very moment, a brother from the community appeared at the door to tell me that I had left the motor of the car running in the parking lot. (I had also left the car unlocked, which allowed security to turn off the engine before the battery died again!) When I returned after attending to that, there was no more discussion of assuming a position...

It is what it is.

At this point in my life, nothing else seems as important as learning this spirituality. May we all continue to find growth and peace in accepting reality with its ups and downs, and have the faith to see, even in the latter, the loving hand of Providence.

This blog is adapted from Brother Richard's Christmas letter to his family and friends back home.

Comments from readers

Bertha Moro - 04/06/2015 04:08 PM
Br. DeMaria you continue to inspire us with your words of wisdom. It's not always easy to let go and accept God's will, but I work at it everyday. Your blog hit home because I often find myself saying, "It is what it is!"
Hope Sadowski - 04/06/2015 02:16 PM
Brother DeMaria's writings are always very inspiring and reflective. With all the turmoil in Kenya lately, I do hope and pray for his safety and well being. Peace and blessings.
Michele P. MacEachern - 04/06/2015 02:15 PM
Ah, Richard, brave Paschal Mystery words, those! To paraphrase St. Paul,we who have been baptized and redeemed into Christ must also die with him and to ourselves. Your happy, embodied spirit does, indeed, "laugh at the days to come." A graced Easter season to you and to your community there in Africa.

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