Opt to adopt
Monday, November 15, 2010
Angelique Ruhi-Lopez
Growing up, I remember seeing a bumper sticker with the clever catchphrase: “Adoption: the loving option.” I always thought adopting a child was a nice and noble cause, but I didn’t think it was for me. That changed when my husband and I felt called to adopt our first son from Vietnam in April 2007. Going through the adoption process, becoming a mother, and meeting my son all filled me with a kind of love I’d never known before. There was no doubt in my mind that adoption was, in fact, for me – for our family.
November is National Adoption Month, a time for raising awareness of the estimated 18.5 million orphans in the world, many of whom are waiting to be adopted and who need loving, permanent families. According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services’ Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System, Americans adopted over 100,000 children domestically and about 11,000 children from overseas in 2009.
Though this is positive, more children become available for adoption each year than are adopted. In 2009, 69,947 children had parental rights terminated by the courts in the U.S., yet only 57,466 of these were adopted. Children often wait three years or more to be adopted, move three or more times while in foster care and sometimes are separated from siblings.
According to the National Adoption Attitudes Survey, nearly 40 percent of American adults, or 81.5 million people, have considered adopting a child. If just one in 500 of these adults adopted, every waiting child in foster care would have a permanent family.
People often don’t consider adoption because of the costs, an understandable concern particularly in this economy. Adopting from foster care is affordable, however. Most child welfare agencies cover the bulk of the costs and provide post-adoption subsidies, such as college tuition. Thousands of employers offer financial reimbursement and paid leave for employees who adopt, and federal or state adoption tax credits are available to most families.
Not everyone is called to adopt but anyone can do something to help the world’s orphans, recalling that we, too, are God’s adopted children:
- Get informed. There are a lot of myths surrounding adoption and it is our duty as Catholics who promote the dignity of all human life to get the information straight.
- Count adoption among the fundamental life issues we rally around as Catholics. At times the focus is solely on saying no to abortion, which is of unquestionable importance. But how do we actively support those who choose life through adoption?
- Be supportive of families who want to adopt, whether they have no children yet or they are seeking to add to their families. Adoption can be a long and emotional process - ask them how you can best be of assistance.
- Start adoption support ministries in parishes, such as Elizabeth Ministry.
- Donate to adoption causes. Many families would love to adopt, but can’t afford to do so. There are organizations and foundations that provide grants to families seeking to adopt; they need donations in order to continue their good work.
- Create awareness. Asking the simple question, “Have you considered adoption?” could open up the possibility to couples who may never have thought of adopting before – or to women who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant and unsure of what to do. Priests, counselors and spiritual directors who meet with couples confused by the myriad of illicit infertility treatments with which science entices them also should encourage couples to consider adoption.
- Pray for children who long for families, families who long for children, and women who lovingly and sacrificially give up their children in order to give them a better life than they can offer them.
Our prophetic voice as Catholics can help demonstrate that the adoption option is more than just a catchphrase and it most certainly is not second best – it truly is a loving option.
Comments from readers
Bishop Estevez's comment brings to light the fact that there is indeed a lot of support to be found within the Church's culture of life for all those involved in adoption. Though our local Catholic Charities is no longer an adoption provider, I encourage everyone to not be afraid to do their part to support families who are adopting and those who are giving up their biological child for adoption.
Felipe J. Estevez
Auxiliary Bishop of Miami
Lesley: Thank you for sharing your daughter's adoption experience. I wish more people knew and understood the joy that comes from adopting a child. I agree - the blessing is indeed ours.