Two annulments and a wedding

By Cristina Cabrera Jarro -

MIAMI | When the children of Jeannette Marrero met the children of Daniel Colon, they formed a bond their parents treasured — and ultimately used as a foundation for their family.

“They were so close in age that they were happy to see the family grow instantly,” said Marrero. “They said ‘United, we will never be defeated.’”

It was a positive prophecy that proved true time and again for Colon and Marrero, especially during their drawn-out quest for annulments of earlier marriages.

Civilly, they have been married for 23 years. But in the eyes of the Church, they’re newlyweds, who professed their vows before God July 30 of last year at St. Mary Cathedral. Among the witnesses to their sacramental union: their five children, now adults, who presaged the moment years ago.

Marrero and Colon met in Puerto Rico. Each came out of a marriage that ended in less than five years. Dating as young divorcees with children was not an easy task for either one. But they met in a joyous way: dancing.

“One night, the Lord sent him my way,” said Marrero. “Father God, from what he sees up above, said, ‘Wait a minute, here is this lonely guy and this lonely girl. They have to get together. This is what I want: the perfect couple.’”

Their relationship blossomed over time, and their children’s bonding made everything easier. Eventually they married and lived for nine years in Puerto Rico before Colon received a work transfer to Miami.

 

Loneliness, a chat with God

The Magic City provided somewhat of a culture shock for the family. The transition smoothed out as Colon started his new job and the kids started school. But Marrero, who was not working at the time, felt lonely. She decided to have a serious conversation with God.

“The story of a family begins in difficult moments. Sometimes it’s true that you stagger, and I grabbed onto the Lord,” said Marrero.

“Sometimes, you need to tell God things as they are,” she added. “In that conversation I kept talking and told him I was scared. I didn’t want to be alone. I asked him to look at my hands, because he knows my talents and capabilities. I told him everything in tears.”

With that, Marrero realized she was missing a very important support: a spiritual family.

“I told the Lord, ‘I want a family, but a family that you will pick for us; one that serves you and your kingdom,’” she recalled.

She had attended Mass with her children in Puerto Rico but her involvement had not gone much further. She decided it was time for her and her family to get involved in the Church so as to gain that spiritual family.

The family registered at St. Agatha Parish in Miami and soon became involved with the prayer and worship group, lay ministry, and Emmaus retreats. It was during confession at an Emmaus retreat that Marrero revealed to her confessor that she was divorced, but remarried civilly.

“The priest told me I was living in sin, I couldn’t confess, I couldn’t take Communion. Obviously, out of ignorance, I had been going to Communion. I felt that I had built a home and a happy marriage,” she said.

Although disappointed, another opportunity crossed her path that helped her marriage grow spiritually. She heard about Matrimonios en Victoria (Marriages in Victory), an international movement aimed at strengthening couples’ faith and relationship through retreats and weekly meetings.

With Marrero’s birthday approaching and Colon working seven days a week, she told him the retreat would be an ideal gift for both of them. The experience inspired them to begin the annulment process in order to be free to marry in the Church.

 

Annulment and the ‘silence of Mary’

An annulment, formally known as a “declaration of nullity,” is a declaration by a Church tribunal that a marriage, though thought to be valid according to Church law, actually fell short “of at least one of the essential elements required for a binding union.” It is not the same as a divorce.

In 2007, Marrero and Colon gathered and filled out the necessary paperwork with the aid of a field advocate from the archdiocese’s Metropolitan Tribunal. They sent the paperwork to their former home diocese in Arecibo, Puerto Rico.

Marrero became a frequent caller hoping to move the process along. When she visited her family there, she made it a habit to visit the Tribunal offices at the diocese of Arecibo. She found out her husband’s papers had been transferred to the Diocese of Ponce and Mayaguez because that’s where he had first married.

Marrero persisted but the years passed. “For the Lord, it’s a matter of perseverance,” she said. “There is not so much work, and there is not so much trouble. No, you just have to do the work and remain and persevere.”

At one point, a friend suggested that she write a letter to Pope Francis explaining their situation. Though she resisted at first, she said she felt inspired because “this is a pope who calls, writes and follows-up.”

The letter travelled to Rome with a friend in March 2015 and was delivered to a nun who passed it on to higher authorities. Someone important must have seen it, because a month later she heard back from the diocese in Puerto Rico.

“They were bothered that I sent the letter to the pope because I had gone above them to a higher authority,” said Marrero. From then on, she adopted “the silence of Mary” and did not call the diocese anymore.

Her case was helped along by another event. In September 2015, Pope Francis released two documents aimed at expediting the annulment process. One of the changes allows persons who were married in nations or regions outside their present home to initiate an annulment in their current diocese rather than through the diocese where they got married.

By May 2016, both Marrero and her husband had received their annulments.

“The most important thing is to remain in community,” said Colon as he reflected on the journey undertaken with his wife. “If you are not in community, forget it. All alone, you cannot do it.”

 

A cathedral wedding

Although St. Agatha is their home parish, Marrero said God put it in her heart to pass with both her families — physical and spiritual — through the Year of Mercy Holy Doors at St. Mary Cathedral.

The same month they received their annulments, they met with Father Christopher Marino, rector of the cathedral, and marriage coordinator Alfonso Balmaceda to fill out the wedding application. The nearest available date was in July.

“They told us, ‘These are the best weddings,’” said Marrero. “‘These are mature people and committed people.’”

Balmaceda and Father Marino explained every moment of the ceremony to them, even taking time to walk them through the cathedral. 

“Imagine these two people, 23 years without confessing, without taking Communion, receiving a homecoming like that,” said Marrero.

They hope their story will inspire others in similar situations to seek sacramental marriage and continue to nourish their relationship.

“It hasn’t been easy because of all the waiting,” said Colon. “It is in the waiting that one becomes desperate and that is when you begin to doubt. But the most important thing has been for us to continue educating ourselves in the faith. If it weren’t for that, we wouldn’t be here in that process. And now, God willing, we want to help other marriages and couples going through this same experience.”

See related stories:

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• 'It's not about what's shiny': Young couple looks back to ancient betrothal to prioritize sacramental nature of marriage 
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