By Cristina Cabrera Jarro -
MIAMI | Marriage on a tight budget is a reality many couples face as they set a date to tie the knot, especially when the average cost of a wedding in South Florida is about $25,000. The financial strain often leaves couples worrying if they should marry in the first place.
“A lot of couples today make it into a big production,” said Father Wilfredo Contreras, pastor of St. Martha Church in Miami Shores. “That’s where we get the idea that Catholic Church weddings are expensive when in reality it’s the people that make it costly for themselves.”
In this file photo, a couple marries at Gesu Church in downtown Miami. While having the ethereal white dress, the stretch limo, the multi-tiered cake, ocean-view venue and destination honeymoon adds to the celebration of marriage, it should not be the sole focus of the wedding. The focus should be on lifelong marriage and the vows made in the church before God.
Father Contreras hopes to change that paradigm with a different kind of wedding ceremony, to be held at St. Martha on Saturday, June 3: a group ceremony that will cost a mere $350 per couple. The donation will cover utility expenses of the church and parish hall. For those who truly cannot afford it, he will waive the donation.
While having the ethereal white dress, the stretch limo, the multi-tiered cake, ocean-view venue and destination honeymoon adds to the celebration of marriage, it should not be the sole focus of the wedding. The focus should be on lifelong marriage and the vows made in the church before God.
“The sacrament is not meant to be an overboard, top-of-the-line production, but something simple and yet elegant,” said Father Contreras. “I want to show the community that we can celebrate with you the sacrament, properly understood between a man and a woman, but also rejoice with you on your big day and give you, as a community, a celebration to honor you.”
On Jan. 29, Father Contreras invited interested couples to an informational meeting at St. Martha. He explained how the bilingual group ceremony will parallel that of group baptisms, first Communions and confirmations.
“Each couple will sit in their assigned pews, will listen to Mass together, and then they will be called up individually to exchange vows and their rings, and there will be an overall nuptial blessing at the end,” said Father Contreras.
After the ceremony, the couples and their entourages will walk to the nearby parish hall to continue the celebration, which will be catered and served by members of the Emmaus groups, Knights of Columbus and other St. Martha groups.
While it sounds innovative, it is not the first time that group ceremonies take place in South Florida. The concept is popular with the Haitian community, particularly at Notre Dame d’Haiti Mission in Miami.
“The pastor at Notre Dame d’Haiti, Father Reginald Jean-Mary, does this every other year to help out his parish and he gets all the community groups involved by helping with the food and the cake,” said Father Contreras. “They hold the collective wedding in the church and go to the hall to celebrate. I really liked the idea.”
Father Contreras himself helped officiate at a bilingual (Haitian-Spanish) group wedding at St. Clement Church in Wilton Manors a while back, alongside the church’s pastor, Father Robes Charles.
Archbishop Thomas Wenski pointed out that the practice is not unusual in other parts of the world, such as Latin America, where the scarcity of priests in rural areas makes it necessary for a priest to celebrate simultaneous ceremonies.
At the local level, he hopes that celebrating marriages in groups will remove one of the obstacles to church weddings.
“For some couples that might feel that the wedding ceremony was beyond their reach because of financial issues, or because they have been together for a long time already, a group wedding allows them to have a very nice ceremony without incurring expenses,” Archbishop Wenski said. “It’s a way of helping people to have their marriages blessed in the Church.”
Leading up to the big day, Father Contreras will meet individually with couples, guiding them through the prescribed marriage preparation steps and other inquiries. A rehearsal date will be set for some time in May.
Depending on how this ceremony goes, Father Contreras said he could see himself celebrating group marriages every other year.
“We want to keep it basic and essential to the fact that a man and a woman are professing their love for each other until death do they part, and they are going to be a sign of God’s love here in the world,” said Father Contreras. “I want to give couples yet to marry the opportunity to see this, to see what it’s like, and know that they will always have this as an option when they can’t afford the cost of a wedding.”
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