Saying ‘goodbye for now'

By Melody Regalado - Florida Catholic correspondent

MIAMI | Nothing about death is easy but often faith can ease the pain. 

That’s why Catholic Hospice hosts an annual memorial Mass for families whose loved ones have died during the past year. The Mass is timed to coincide with National Hospice Month and the month of All Souls, both of which take place in November. This year’s memorial Mass was celebrated Nov. 22 at St. Michael Church in Miami. 

“This Mass is a time to say goodbye again, or at least goodbye for now, to know that there is something more,” said Bonnie Alkema, executive director of Catholic Hospice. “It brings that closeness to that person whom they feel that they’ve lost for that short period of time, so they can feel engaged and celebrate their life.” 

For Oscar Ladrón de Guevara and his family, the Mass was timely, as the family approached the one-year anniversary of their loss. He said his experience with Catholic Hospice was wonderful and made something very difficult to go through as easy as possible for the entire family. 

“My mom went very peacefully. The (hospice) staff was wonderful in preparing us for what was coming, especially for my dad — they were together since 12 and 13 — so it was extremely hard for him, and yet he somehow found peace in my mom’s passing and found even her last breath the most beautiful thing,” Ladrón de Guevara said. 

“It’s a situation of no comfort, yet we found some comfort,” he added. “This Mass today is important in bringing our family together in remembrance and bringing peace of mind.” 

Archbishop Thomas G. Wenski celebrated the bilingual Mass, noting in his homily that “grief is a cross — a difficult cross — that we carry; but no one should carry it alone.”  

He acknowledged not only the families and friends who help loved ones cope with loss, but also the services provided by the staff of Catholic Hospice. 

“Catholic Hospice helped our loved ones in their final days with us — and Catholic Hospice has helped us since they left us. We are grateful for this ministry and the ministry of those who attend to the bereaved in our parishes,” Archbishop Wenski said. 

“We are privileged that these families open the doors of their homes to share in such an important and difficult moment in their lives,” said Jacqueline Lugaro, bereavement coordinator at Catholic Hospice. “We are there to support them, to offer consolation and to educate them about the grieving process, because the better they understand the process, the easier it is for them to cope with it as well.” 

Martha Rodriguez de Perez, who lost her husband of nearly 57 years in May, called the work of Catholic Hospice “a blessing.” 

When brain surgery left him in a coma and with a grim prognosis, Rodriguez de Perez worried that something might happen during her short breaks away from the hospital. She wanted him to be at home, and that’s when she found Catholic Hospice. 

“It was such a blessing and peace of mind for me. I believe all people should go in their own homes,” she said. “Although he was in a coma, I would talk to him and tell him he was at home and that God was with him.” 

Catholic Hospice helped her and their two daughters through the grieving process, which was especially hard for Rodriguez de Perez after “a lifetime” together. They met at the age of 14 and dated for six years before getting married. She described him as an excellent father and man of faith. 

“Just days before, he told me that if he came back, he would marry me over again,” she said. “It’s very hard after such a long time together, but faith is the only thing that sustains us.” 

Catholic Hospice opened its doors over 25 years ago to serve those facing the end of life and their families. Alkema said part of their mission is to help families realize that death is not the end, but the beginning of a sacred journey.  

“Many people think hospice is about dying, but it’s not — it’s about living,” she said. “It’s about helping people on that last journey to do everything they want to before their life is done, to be able to show them that their life had value, it continues to have value, and that they made a difference in the world.” 

Archbishop Wenski has already committed to celebrate the memorial Mass for the next three years. 

“To have his support, and for all of our families to have his support, validates the work we do and the mission that we have, and it’s really a great honor,” said Alkema.  

FYI

• Catholic Hospice is a not-for-profit health care organization providing end-of-life care to terminally ill patients and their families throughout Miami-Dade and Broward Counties.

• Dedicated to the preservation of the quality of life of people facing end-of-life issues, Catholic Hospice provides pain control and symptom management, as well as spiritual and psychological support to over 500 patients and their bereaved families daily, regardless of race, religion, age, gender, ethnic background, handicap, diagnosis or financial resources.

• Catholic Hospice also sponsors programs such as the L’chaim Jewish Hospice Program, Wishes Granted, Pet Peace of Mind, We Honor Veterans, Camp Erin: a bereavement camp for children, and other bereavement support groups.

• For more information, visit www.catholichospice.org.