�It�s not about what�s shiny�

By Anne DiBernardo - Florida Catholic

MIAMI | Jaws dropped when Matthew Mangiaracina and Lia Del Guercio’s family and friends found out the couple’s engagement party would be preceded by a betrothal ceremony.

But the millennial couple figured it would give them a spiritual edge in preparing for their subsequent marriage in the Catholic Church.

The revived Rite of Betrothal has its roots in St. John Paul II’s papacy, when in 1992 he initiated revisions to the Order of Celebrating Matrimony. In 2016, the U.S. bishops approved its Latin to English translation for use in U.S. dioceses, according to Msgr. Terence Hogan, dean of the School of Theology atSt. Thomas University in Miami Gardens.

Mangiaracina, 24, and Del Guercio, 22, first heard about the new Rite of Betrothal through a friend, and were instantly drawn to its potential blessings. Instead of getting bogged down scheduling photo shoots and registering for gifts, the couple reflected on how they could spiritually prepare for the sacrament they would be entering May 6 of this year. They asked Father Miguel Gonzalez to preside over their betrothal, held at St. James Cathedral in Orlando last Dec. 17.

Orlando was chosen because it is centrally located and made travel easier for their families, who are scattered around the state. Parents, grandparents and siblings attended the intimate ceremony held in the chapel adjacent to the church. The ceremony was followed by a simple reception given by the groom’s father and stepmother.

“I was impressed by their resolve to do something that my generation not only knew nothing of, let alone would ever consider doing ourselves,” said Mangiaracina’s father, Chris.

“I felt like a little kid on Christmas morning,” Father Gonzalez said. “That’s how happy I was for them, a young couple, just like Tobias and Sarah, seeking God’s will, asking him to bless the marriage. It touched my heart to see how they were focused on allowing the Lord to be included at the very beginning of that journey.”

“I think it’s a great way to get your mind and heart centered on what’s important,” said Mangiaracina, an alumnus of St. Gregory School in Plantation. “It points towards the sacrament more than anything else. I realized that everyone forgets about that.”

He noted that family and friends also tend to focus on “an event where you eat a bunch of food and everyone is happy for you. If you pre-empt that with this ceremony, it emphasizes what you’re actually there for.”

His fiancée agrees.

“Because I’m the woman, the auto default is, ‘Oh, you’re engaged, congratulations! Let me see the ring,’ rather than the fact that it’s a sacrament,” said Del Guercio, who attended Our Lady of Lourdes School and Father Lopez High School in Daytona Beach. “It’s not about what’s shiny, which is the emphasis in the secular world.”

History of betrothals

For many people, betrothal conjures up St. Luke’s description of Mary and Joseph at the time of the Annunciation. Back then, betrothal was a binding, formal agreement between families. The couple were considered husband and wife for all legal and religious purposes, with the exception of cohabitation, which would occur only after the wedding. The penalty for breaking the promise was severe. Hence Joseph’s initial resolve to “divorce her quietly” once he discovered she was pregnant.

The Catholic Encyclopedia defines betrothal as “the giving of one's troth — that is, one's true faith or promise.” Influenced by early Judeo-Christian customs, the rite of betrothal was formally recognized as a valid, lawful contract in the Catholic Church as early as the third century. Throughout the centuries, betrothal ceremonies became commonplace and were later tagged on to the beginning of the wedding ceremony.

While betrothal ceremonies are still required in some parts of the world, betrothal today, in the U.S. Catholic Church, refers more to a public engagement. But it is not binding and no one is penalized for changing his or her mind.

The new Order of Blessing an Engaged Couple includes introductory rites, a selection of readings from scripture, prayers and a final blessing.

“The friends and family convey their prayerful support as they receive this blessing,” Father Gonzalez said, noting that the blessing can also be conferred at home by a parent. However, if a priest or a deacon is present, he should be the presider.

Mildred Ratcliffe, coordinator of the Office of Marriage and Family Life for the archdiocese, will soon be holding a betrothal ceremony for her youngest daughter, Maria, and her fiancé, Juan, at her home in the company of a priest.

 

Many blessings

Ratcliffe encourages everyone to take advantage of all the blessings of the Church, “which are so beautiful and rich.”

“Why wouldn’t you receive as many blessings as you can from the Lord? Everything you do, you should invite Jesus. Why not receive a blessing that will culminate in marriage and later the start of a family?” Ratcliffe said.

She added that the rite of betrothal can also be part of the couple’s Pre-Cana, a mandatory preparation for those who wish to be married in the church.

As for Mangiaracina and Del Guercio, who met at the Catholic Student Union while attending Florida State University, the religious dimensions of marriage will continue to take center stage.

Their wedding was strategically planned for May because it is the month of Mary, and the date coincides with the 100th anniversary of Mary’s apparition in Fatima. Their honeymoon will start with a four-day visit to Magenta, Italy, the hometown of St. Gianna Beretta Molla, a modern-day saint they chose as their patron because she was a loving wife, working mother, and physician with whom they both can identify.

“It’s the everyday heroic quality of their relationship that’s so appealing,” Mangiaracina said.

“It’s a tangible way to see that we’re all called to be saints. She was just a normal person talking about her kids running in the door,” Del Guercio added.

See related stories

• Marriage prep as faith formation: Archdiocese updates guidelines to strengthen engaged couples’ relationship with the Church
• A marriage, not just a wedding: Premarital program helps archdiocesan couples become 'Fully Engaged' 
• Two annulments and a wedding: After 23 years, couple marries sacramentally
• Marriage in groups: simple, elegant, affordable
• God and marriage: statistics on what keeps people happily married